Cucumber Dal

Cucumber is one of the most hydrating veggies which can be served in varieties of forms. You can make a chutney, salad, dal and even curry with Cucumber and it’s yummy in every form.
Nutrition and health benefits :
Raw cucumber (with peel) is 95% water, 4% carbohydrates, 1% protein, and contains negligible fat. A 100-gram (3+1⁄2-ounce) reference serving provides 65 kilojoules (16 kilocalories) of food energy.

Ingredients :
Cucumber – 1 ( Sambar Cucumber, in images)
Tur Dal – 160 gms
Onion – 1 small
Salt and Chilli Powder – according to your taste.
Tadka Ingredients :
Oil/ Ghee : 2 table spoons
Mustard – 1 spoon
Jeera/Cumin Seeds – half Spoon
Red Chilli : 2
Methi Powder : a pinch
Hing : a Pinch
Curry leaves – 4-5
Coriander leaves – 4-5

Let’s Cook !!

1. Peel a Cucumber and cut into medium size pieces. Remove seeds , kids may not like the texture of seeds in food.
2. Cut Onion into 4 pieces.
3. Add Tur dal in a cooker, add a pinch of salt and turmeric. Cook until 5 whistles.
4. In a frying pan add 2 tablespoons of Oil. After it heats up , add Mustard and let it sputter. Then add Hing, and Methi powder. Add Cumin seeds and Redchilli to the oil.
5. Add the cut onions and Cucumber to the Tadka , add sufficient salt and stir.
6. Let this mix cook on medium flame for 3-4 mins. Add half cup water, close the pan with a lid and cook in high flame for 5-7 mins ( till the cucumber softens).
7. Mash the cooked dal to smoothen. Add the dal to the cooked Cucumber.
8. Add chilli powder according to your taste. ( This dal tastes good when it’s not spicy)
9. Add coriander leaves , close the lid and cook in low flame for 2-3 mins and switch off the stove.

Tips and Tricks :
. You can add a pinch of Tamarind Pulp to the vegetables while cooking. But if you have arthritis or any Joint related issues, I recommend you replace tamarind with a spoon of Lemon Juice.
. Cucumber’s health benefits are enhanced when it’s cooked with peel. But if your kids like the food smooth and soft, then it’s better to remove the peel.
Ensure that the kids enjoy eating the Cucumber pieces in Dal, they are rich hydrating sources.
Using Ghee for Tadka enhances the taste and aroma of the dal by 200%.

No matter how big is the challenge !

“No matter how huge is the road-block, the moment you determine to embark it and set your foot, it suddenly becomes smaller than you.”  — A granny who handled road blocks like a pro in her life.

This is my most favorite saying that my granny repeatedly told me. Have I ever had enough of this? No.  Every time there is an challenge in my life that looked like bigger than me, all I had to do is to prepare myself to fight it, only to witness that the problem actually downsizes itself.

I am a proud single mother of two wonderful boys.  When the father left us I was still in the third trimester of second pregnancy.  It was a trauma.  But I can confidently say that I recovered from it far quicker than a vulnerable 30 yr old mother would.  Each challenge in my life reminded me of what my granny told me and kept me going. 

I know philosophy is not a solution for real life. So, let’s look at the scientific side of this.  It’s a proven fact that when you are relaxed, your mind works efficiently than otherwise.  I believed that any challenge that comes in my way, it’s half solved the moment I decide to deal with it.  This attitude helped me grow immensely cool when there is a challenge around. 

My child’s fancy dress walk in the school, and we all were excited.  He wanted to wear a doctor’s attire.  I had to run some errands to get the dress done.  Next day when we reached the school, there was a mishap and his entire dress was ruined.  It’s a challenge which could have triggered tons of self-sympathy with one question “Why Me always?” I shut the internal voice immediately.  I knew this is not something that I can’t overcome.  So I prepared my son to go in as a “Surgeon”.  He aced the show stating he is a surgeon who’s priority is only the patient so he didn’t want to waste time on changing when his dress had to take a load of rain on the way to hospital. 

Seems a small challenge isn’t it … It’s not about the challenge; it’s about the attitude that helps you with right choices even in challenging situations. 

A happy evening, I went out with few of my friends.  By the time I returned to home, my younger kid broke his nose.  So much broken that, when I touched his nose I felt the pieces of nose bone.  I quickly drove to the nearby hospital.  It’s a huge corporate hospital, with no surgeon available at that hour.  All we had is an attendant junior, who seemed to have cared less for the patient and more for his commission.  He started exaggerating the situation, used all flashy jargons and his final verdict was that the kid needs a surgery.  Meanwhile, I stood there like a pro assessing the situation, racking through my commonsense which tells me that a kid’s bones are reflective, may not need a cut to fix them.  So what would you do in this situation? You are a single person standing there for that young life, no one backing you up.  I didn’t want to take a decision basis my commonsense , but not get persuaded by that attendant.  I told him sternly. Without losing cool that I HAVE TO speak to the surgeon.  He put me to the surgeon over the call. He said exactly what my commonsense told me. A kid of that age doesn’t need a surgery to fix bones.  We came home with some basic medicines.  I took off from work for a week.  That’s all we needed.

All I had to do is to think this “Oh my, that nose looks scary. But we can fix it”. I just had to set my foot, to embark.

No=may be/yes , how does it start?

I took a stern decision to stop feeding kids at the very first NO … WHY ?! read on…

I was married into a family of foodies. I thought they are just foodies, till I started to see the root reason as to why they are foodies and what’s the impact of it (other than twice the proportionate weight to the height).

So it was my first week into the house, we all sat for lunch. I have always been light eater. Less quantity, more of frequency. Mother-in-law politely offered me more rice, I gracefully accepted. once gracefully, second time lil uncomfortably , third time awkwardly and it’s going onnnnn. When I finished the third round of rice, my tummy took over my brain. I had to shut the warnings coming from mind to act polite, and say it out ” I am actually done, I can’t eat any more , please DON’T server anymore”. I said it but i was scared because in that whole week this is the longest sentence I spoke at one stretch, in that volume. I expected her to get angry, upset, shocked … But to my utter surprise she smiled sweetly. Even before I got out of the shock, there was a huge pile of rice pushed into my plate and she said “that’s ok, you eat”. While I was finishing this round of rice my mind was racing which point to think about first , 1. Did I not just say NO , was it my hallucination 2. How to escape the next pile of rice. Fortunately there was no more piles of rice, as she got into some call and I (very) quietly got up from there.

Slowly in that house what I realized is that, a NO is never valued or taken for a face value. Not only with family members but even the guests. If you are younger to the person who is talking to you, you can’t say no and if you say it will be disregarded. This is regardless what the ask is. It was a huge struggle to me to understand because I have grown up in a system where my maternal family believed that you grow ONLY by being on your own. You say something , you are the owner of it so you better validate it and say , this was my mom’s family did. If you say you don’t want to eat anymore, it’s your validation of your hunger which no one else can do actually. So we were pretty much left to think, validate and do things on our own. This made me more grounded, because I grew accountable for myself. and after 23 years of this kind of life I come into a family where no matter what, a NO is not taken.

I see this impact on the children of the family as well. There was no one instance in my entire 7 years of married life my NO was honored. For good and bad. We go to buy jewellery I choose elegant ones coz I was never into too much of flashy stuff. E.H ( Ex-Husband) comes and says ” what , you are taking these , no way, you take that necklace that looks grander and shinier”. Worst part is his mom INSTRUCTS me on what to THINK about it. I am supposed to think that , though I am willing to settle with less expensive ones my E.H is so generous that he is offering me the most expensive stuff, how lucky I am !! Sounds like a dream … yeah, read on …We ended up in 15 lacks loan within few years time frame. So much for being generous !! The very reason a marriage is performed in between TWO grown up souls is so that one can rectify the other in the times when one is wrong. But this concept is fully faltered there !

Not being able to understand a NO, is a serious issue. So much serious that, when he asked me to leave the house his expectation was I will IGNORE and stay ! The concept of Ignorance grew that stronger. Learning to paying attention to the words at face value is an important skill that everyone should inculcate. At least I take it seriously.

Now I am mushy mom of 2 gorgeous boys. I pamper a lot, I am stern too when needed. Till few months before I did overfeed them ignoring no …. But when I realized that they are actually growing now and they need to build the accountability, I started taking what they say seriously. Even if it means feeding them with less food. I tell them very clearly, you need to own what you say… Think, validate then speak.

Why is it important to start with food ? It’s one place where we Indian moms overdo and repeatedly ignore NO. What do you do if you want to train your brain with a habit ? You perform that task multiple times in a day so the mind gets used to it. So start with food , train your mind to feed the kids only however much they ask, voila, you are already there. Kids too will learn that when they are hungry, just throwing a tantrum and saying NO to food will actually leave them with hungry tummy. The second bird of the shot is that the tantrums around food may come down too !

By doing this, you are helping yourself, your kids as well. Today we speak so much in the corp world on ” How to say NO”. We tend to hesitate to say NO as we grow up because our NO was constantly ignored from our childhood. But once you start being firm when you say NO , and start respecting when others say NO, things change beautifully. You will be raising kids who are confident that what they say is valued and not bulldozed … and all this starts with food 🙂

Do you also think “Sorry” lost it’s relevance ?~

I am sorry, We are sorry, Sorry Bol diya toh ! etc !

So the other day my two boys fought, younger said ” You are Mentally ill” to the elder one so nonchalantly… Just as a matter of fact ! I was in kitchen and my head blew with stronger force than the pressure cooker itself ! I run so much behind being polite, language etc and where did this come from in my kids (I sometimes forget they have another set of gens running in them too, How convenient is that ! )

So I literally yell at the younger one ” how can you say such things” ! … He shoots a blank stare at me, then turns to the elder kid and says ” Sorry” … It’s so blank as if he is saying his own name , blank, no weight of emotion. does it bother me , hell yes ! Why ? You will know .. read on …

So then I continue cooking. I hear a loud voice from the living room, it’s the fantastic progression of verbal fight to physical abuse. So by the time I cam back to the living, the younger one is whimpering with pain, tears in his eyes, bullish anger on his face , he is yelling while wrestling with the elder one ” Let me go you sicko, mentally ill”… Did I blow off louder than the pressure cooker ?! .. Yes I did. I just had to release a very tiny sample of my anger very organically through my throat ” can you both just stop it right now??”.. And with that I simply walked into the Balcony and took few deep, long breaths to make sure my system is running as it should.

Why am I so anxious about a normal scene that’s pretty much common in any home where two or more teen siblings are under one roof? A day before flashback gets a sudden significance here. So at work place, from the last 2 years it has been chaotic. thanks to Covid and Work from home. We have people working at various people peeling off their marks of saint like manners and coming off the edge in calls. Understandably , they are locked at home too in these 2 years, so it’s much expected.

I see a series of incidents happening where people are utterly irresponsible with what the organization has trusted them with, and then come into the calls and say ” sorry” !! .. Seriously ? is that what we get ?!! I see people started finding comfort in saying sorry… So much so that it now works as that cushion laid on floor before you knowingly jump from heights. I see an alarming sense of irresponsibility that is growing in us, because we know ” Agar galti ho gaya tho zyada se zyada kya, sorry bol denge”. We are at that now, instead of ” why are we doing this in first place”. I see that many people today are using sorry as a penalty that’s not so very pinching as the real monitory one. When you are running late, you break the signal , you speed, you pay. Would you do it again if need be , Hell yes, I would and then I pay penalty. A sorry isn’t supposed to be like this … A sorry is supposed to mean, ” I know I am wrong, and I will never do that again”

A friend called the other day whose husband literally absconded leaving her and two kids. Then the inlaws visited her a couple of time in her parents house and asked her to come home. She didn’t want to go until they agree that what the husband did is wrong. They didn’t , so she didn’t go. Every time they came they had this statement repeated from their side, ” look beta, whatever happened, it is in between you too. You both are wrong. if you come home now at least our pride will stay intact in extended family”. Then when finally they realized she is not gonna come with them, they said “How many times we said sorry and please, how rude of you to ignore all of that and reject us”!! … Now, that is dangerous isn’t it … Your son spoiled lives of 3 there, and you are worried that your sorry was ignored?? Does your sorry hold ANY power at all, if you have no intention of agreeing that what your son did is wrong, and you will never abandon the lady again ! If you believe both the woman and man are wrong in this case, what are you sorry for ?

So when I see these little young men at home keep chanting sorry, instead of not saying/doing something wrong , it ticks me off. May be it’s simply my anxiety that is making me think so long.

After I walked into Balcony to simply sit quite, slowly the younger one came in. Said, ” Sorry ma”.. I laughed harder. Asked him, what is it , why is he sorry. He says ” because I said wrong things to the big bro”. A sense of relief , I was dreading that he may say ” I am sorry because you are angry” :)))) That would have destructed my entire 15 yrs of parenting in a tick.

This whole episode anyway followed by gyan as to how you deal with adults and people elder to you etc … But somehow this left me thinking, when did the word sorry lost it’s meaning !

may be it’s when we said sorry for being louder even when it is required, or when we said sorry for other’s mistake just to stop an argument, or when we said sorry just to stop someone who is leaving… I am a very polite person, I use thank you, Sorry and please often. But today, I am dropping sorry from my list. List of words which I think, demonstrate my polite side 🙂 We need to be us , not just polite.

No Sweat over Home loan!!!

A research shows that 68% of total Indian population is willing and is ready to take Home loans from various financial institutions.  These figures demonstrate the fact that the home loan is now becoming more reachable and affordable for people from all income layers.

While taking a home loan is this affordable, a very important point that most of the millennials are missing on is, the ability to repay. While many banks limit maximum home loan tenure to 25 years, few banks provide the feasibility of repaying the loan in as many years as 40! Remember the longer the tenure is , the more interest paid to bank! ☹

Regardless what is set as limit by bank, is it really possible for us to define how soon we can repay the home loan? If you read this article till end, yes, you can. Though the home loan is for 25 years, by repaying it in disciplined routine we can reduce the total repayment amount by a whopping %.

Sounds magical? Let’s see how to do this magic & who does this magic basically 😊

Let’s say Ms. S took a home loan of 40 L, for 25 years, with an interest rate of 8%. Her EMI is Rs 30,873 per month.  Now at the end of the tenure Ms. S would end up paying Rs. 92,00,458. Ms. S repaid his principal amount anyway, but also paid interest amount of 52L in excess. 

How do we reduce this? 

1 straight way of doing this is to go with short term such as 15 years, which will increase the EMI by 8K.  Just by paying 38,226 per month, for 15 years, Ms. S would pay 68 L to the bank.  The interest paid in this model is exactly 24 L Lesser than the 25 years model. 

But Ms. S is like me .. Doesn’t want a compulsion on how much to pay.  She wants to have a free hand so she can determine how much to pay to the bank. 

Then, by all means we can reduce the tenure without having to increase the monthly EMI amount, but we need to know a very little amount of math and a background to the interest component in EMI amount. 

So when we start a home loan for 25 years, for the first 15 years, more than 80% of the EMI amount goes towards the interest amount and less amount goes towards the principal amount.  The interest amount during this period is computed on the basis of balance principal amount. Isn’t this a fantastic strategy for banks! (Ms. S may eventually drop the idea of buying a home, but start a bank! ) 😊

How to reduce the tenure of the home loan without increasing the monthly EMI amount. 

So Ms. S pays a monthly EMI of 30 K to the bank. If only she can manage to pay 1 extra EMI every year, then this extra EMI gets reduced fully from the Principal amount! This way, the total amount she will end up paying at the end of her tenure is 79 L INR, but not 92 L as explained in the beginning.  That’s a straight reduction of 14% reduction from the original amount. 

Why does this happen? Is Simply because the monthly EMIs are largely contributing towards the interest whereas the extra EMI that she pays is a direct hit on the principal amount …  How cool is that!!?

Another perk? How hungry we are !

Fine, another perk here is that the actual loan which is supposed to go on for 25 years ,  now in this method, will need only need 19 years and 9 months. Apprx 20 Yrs.

How to reduce the tenure of the loan by increasing the monthly EMI amount by your choice of %. 

We all are growing.  Isn’t it true?  No, don’t look at your weighing machines! When I say growth, it’s the year-year increments at work or developments in business etc.  If Ms. S decides to increase the EMI amount by a nominal 5% every year, what happens? Sheer Magic takes place! By doing this, she can reduce the total interest to 29 L, from the initial discussed 52L.   That’s a straight saving of 23 L,  75%!!

And how much she is increasing on the EMI:   Year 1 – 30877,  Year 2- 32416 ,  Year 3 – 34037 … Hardly 1,500 Rs increased from year to year. 

Perk again? Yes, we have! 

The loan that was tenured for 25 years, will last only for 13 years and 5 months if we go on increasing just 5% of EMI every year.

This is the magic…  and who did it, of course Ms. S did (She always does)! If she can, then so you can !!

It is always the small numbers which contribute to a massive difference. 

You keep an eye on the small change, I will keep looking for cool stuff to write about. 

Signing off.

Outstanding example of Kaizen – ISRO !

 

Glorious history of ISRO’s continuous transformation- 50 years: 

How did we start:

First ever lab used by ISRO was Thumba Church which is also fondly called as Thumba Equatorial Rocket Launching Station (TERLS). The beach next to the church was of course the launch station.

First launch – Aryabhatta -1975

1975, when India was the topper in the list of countries affected majorly because of the Oil & gas price hike due to the energy crisis worldwide, Team ISRO was literally burning midnight oil to get our own Aryabhatta launched.  We did it, amidst all the crisis, successfully!

First launch vehicle – SLV 3- 1980

ISRO built own launch vehicle in 1980.  By this time there was a very small list of countries to have indigenously launched a satellite-carrying rocket into space.  That was SLV-3 ,  carrying the satellite Rohini !

ISRO took the big leap, PSLV- 1993

Though PSLV had witnessed a partial failure in first attempt, till now this ISRO’s workhorse has launched 38 satellites into the space contributing to a significant share of India in world’s communication and space technology sect.

 The time when India went beyond cloud9 and touched moon ,  Chandrayaan 1- 2008.

Chandrayaan 1 was also the first mission that put ISRO on the global map. The mission, reached lunar orbit on November 8 and remained functional till 28 August 2009, which was when the mission was officially closed.  However, Chandrayaan was still in the lunar orbit as late as 2016 in a finding detected by NASA.

When we touched Mars- Mangalyaan – 2013. 

Another excellent achievement by ISRO when the whole world started observing India.  India is the first country in the world to reach Mars in its very first attempt and only the fourth country to reach the Red Planet.This whole prep to journey took 9 months, but it was done in a budget that is lesser than a Hollywood movie ( Gravity,  remember ? )

104 satellites at one go – 2017

ISRO decided to launch a breathtaking 104 satellites into space. This included Satellites from dozens of countries including US.  This launch was significant since it also showed just how far India had come from the time when Indian Satellites had to get on to a USSR launch vehicle.

When ISRO launched the big boy! GSLV Mk III

It was graduation day for ISRO. With the recent launch of the Geo-synchronous Satellite Launch Vehicle Mark III, ISRO has finally entered the club of the boys with the big guns. With a payload capacity of 4,000 kg, the GSLV Mk III marks ISRO’s first step towards making the Indian dream of sending manned missions to space a reality pretty soon.

 

My Cheese Sandwich…

This Monday I had to go to the corp office to discuss a project that I am leading … Yes , on a Monday,  you see.

I began the day in rush.. Quickly sent kids to school (imagine how they would feel,  to go to school on a Monday.. I could totally empathize, ONLY for this Monday)

As day progressed to around 10ish ,  I suddenly realized I had just milk and cornflakes some 3 hrs before .. Ouch,  suddenly my tummy started growling !!! I continued booking my cab,  ignoring the weird hunger protest that is raising from within.

I have a maid who is extremely understanding ( If nothing else, she understands my hunger pretty well).  She suddenly showed up with a yummmmmy sandwich!  It’s just out of the world type. A steamy, cheesy, perfectly grilled sandwich!! something that I can take a bullet for :))))

I was about to take the first bite ,  phone rang … It’s the cab driver who almost threatened me, politely.  ” Mam,  nanu wait madithini ivaga gate alli. muru nimishalli hogi bidithini”  .. Precisely,  I am waiting at your gate,  if you don’t come in three minutes,  I will leave.

Do I have a choice to make?  nah … I left the sandwich . Was about to leave and suddenly my understanding maid appears, with a box ..” Akka, pls eat it on the way to your office” .. That right moment, my mind processed a strong request to god … Please keep her happy and healthy!!

I boarded the cab, we started. I gave 2-3 mins to settle in. I somehow do not prefer to eat while on the move, especially when it is not my car. But then,  I opened the box…. The aroma of fresh veggies, dripping cheese, crunchy grill, I was at the verge of drooling, literally : )

I was about to take the first bite, I suddenly realized the cab is not moving anymore.  I looked up in inquiry. Driver said ” Mam I have an emergency at home so need to go back.  I informed in the office, they are sending another cab,  so mam I will drop you back home”.

I was never sad to let go of anything so bad that I felt in that moment when I was keeping the sandwich down. While I was standing outside my gate and waiting for another cab that the office arranged,  I was thinking .. Why does this happen to me ? why things slip out of my hand at the right moment when I am getting real attachment to them …

As if to answer my questions, my phone rings again .. it’s a call from the cab’s office saying another cab is on the way ,  it may take another 20 mins.

I found no point in waiting so went upstairs into my flat.  sunk into the sofa , switched on TV.. There was my mosst fav ” agar tum saath ho” from Tamasha.  I slowly opened my box.  There it is !!!! The cheesy,  still warm,  veggie sandwich !!!  I finally started eating … Enjoying each bite of the sandwich and each bit of that moment. Shreya Ghoshal’s honey quoted voice singing ” bin bole baathein tum se karun,  agar tum sath ho” , the cheese slowly melting,  what a moment !!

When I finished eating my cheese sandwich I understood one thing… There is a course of time that we all have to go through.  Finally we all get what we truly deserve but little timing issue will always exist.  In past, I sat and brood over many things I lost.. I cried over few people whom I had to let go of,  though I loved them crazily.  But it is momentary… Later I realized,  it’s all for good. Not necessary that you always know why certain things happen, there comes a point in life when you appreciate why they happened.

 

When few things happen,  they are absolutely worth waiting 🙂

Happy reading ,  cheeeee(r)se  🙂

 

 

One’s happiness is so much dependent on them. I always felt pity about those who keep blaming others for their unhappy self.  Firstly, the concept of a person being happy about others DOES NOT exist. you are happy because of your mindsets and the way you perceive things. So it’s all about YOU / I .. Never WE there. It’s all about the choice we make between wanting to be happy or wanting to be a victim.

 

I know I confuse sometimes. But I also know I explain well.. So, let me explain this. There is a wedding where more than 500 people are attending. Suddenly the groom  says NO to the bride. The wedding is called off. Do you seriously think EVERYONE is sad because a wedding broke and whatever the girl’s family spent had gone waste ? Nah … More than 25% of the people in wedding would have felt happy .. Let’s see ..

 

The wedding decorator, caterer, designer etc are happy because they are getting paid for the full service, where they had provided less than 50% of the service. Then it’s the turn of people who came to the wedding. Few might have hated the groom sometime or the bride, they feel happy the wedding broke. These people who are happy are extremely contagious.. They go and spread the viral as to why they are happy. They could be happy for the groom because they hate the girl, few could be happy because they didn’t like the boy and they think girl is extremely lucky to get rid of the boy before it’s too late.

 

But all these people had an option to sit and cry for the girl , because no matter how and why it happened, breaking a wedding is bad. ( it sounds sooo like the math table 2. You do whatever, 2*2 has to be 4 only. )

 

Now look at the girl’s family. though they are in a big trouble momentarily, they too have an option to make ! They have an option to sit and cry for the boy who has been irresponsible or thank god and be happy for letting them know that the boy IS Irresponsible. Probably if they had known about boy’s nature before, they had called of the wedding much before itself. Then, why it becomes tragedy when boy calls it off ?

 

It’s not about this wedding alone… It’s about any incident that we portray as tragedy, indeed has some other meaning. It’s our perception, that makes us see the dark side of any ONE incident. There is always something good that is hidden in EVERY incident of our life. It’s our choice to see the hidden side of it or see the momentary impact ( latter is easy though).

 

Your life may not be completely in your hands. But how to read your life and design your future is very much dependent on your perception. The more strong your design is, the more support you get from the almighty and the nature  : ) Of course, Experience speaking this side.

 

The Endurance…

Recently I read ” A thousand Splendid Suns” during a leisure vacation. It’s an international acclaimed novel that described the disturbed lives in Kabul during the attacks of Taliban. This is a very well written piece that brings life of people in Kabul in a way that is very close to actual. But the common thing that I found in this book which disappointed me in a way is, the ability of women. As Mariam explained by her mother in the book that woman=endurance. I had, I have and I will continue to have reservations with this point.

Why we always tag woman only to the words responsibility, patience and Endurance?  Of course, I appreciate the way author explained how much Laila and Mariam SUSTAINED in the novel but the missing factor is how beautifully Tarique ( A man with only one leg, in the story) faced the hardship in life and still could retain his goodness.  If there was more focus on Tarique’s hardship, then the possibility is that the guy would have more sympathy against the women in the book … But at least there would have been an attempt to change the HISTORICAL PERCEPTION !!!

When I look around the current scenario ( Everywhere) looks like we all are in need of Endurance. I consider it as an ability to sustain the regular obstacles of life .. If yes, it’s a common need of a man as well as a woman. If we women need to develop endurance towards the circumstances, stubborn children, teasing ugly men around, not so supporting domestic conditions then men have to endure the stress at work, traffic, increasing risk for life in today’s social circumstances .. The fact is, NO ONE is safe.

Why men need to realize this … Well, as long as men do not realize the need of increased patience and responsibility, no one can stop the shattering homes .. Be it because of divorce, domestic violence, abandoned children, or suicides. As long as they do not accept that it needs their effort to develop the ability to sustain, they always believe and blame women for their inability to sustain. We need to inculcate the thought that problems are way shorter and smaller than the giant sized life … Yes, life is big !!!

Recently I have come across a cousin .. She must be aged less than 28 and her husband committed suicide last week ( He must be around 30 yr old.) Yes, there were financial problems, there were issues of stressed relations, complaints from parents etc… But on the other hand there is this cute child in their lives who is less than 3 yrs., there are two jobs occupied by this family which said that food and clothing is assured, there is a newly bought house which assured a decent shelter. Then why this guy had taken such hasty step ? I say, it’s lack of endurance. Lack of responsibility. Limits to OUR patience are always set by us .. Especially when it is about OUR life .. We all have to have endurance. The ability to live longer, no matter what happens around.

It’s a mere coincidence that exactly when I was thinking of how well the author could have injected the need of Endurance into men, I came across this cousin’s incident. but altogether .. It was an unpleasant experience which made me do a lot of brainstorm  …

Wish at least 2014 would bring the needed change.

A parent and a working woman .. Who wins?

Parenting… is much more than just LEADING.

Today has been one of those few days of complete struggle between a parent and working woman. Not with outside world but with me, myself. It’s obvious that, we can not be indifferent to all the situations and people in life. but the going gets tough when you, as ONE SELF, have too many voices raising from within suggesting different reactions to ONE situation.

I usually get my kid ready to school on time .. by the time his van comes he is ready. I have multiple reasons for this forced discipline.  Most important one is that his school is far off and if I have to drop him, it will be hectic. This is what I think as a person who is contributing and responsible for the financial balance in the family.  But as a mother, there is always another voice screaming from within ” That’s ok if he misses his school van, let him take 5 more mins and eat his breakfast at least!! ”

Today… The mother in me won .. I told my kid that I will drop him, and let him eat leisurely.  why not .. it’s his favorite breakfast today.  When I was dropping him to school ,  I saw that the school gates are slowly closing and watchman is locking it. We ran to the entrance ….

I have two choices now .. one, I beg the watchman and send my kid inside the school or quietly walk back to home along with my child.

The independent, working woman in me started rising slowly .. telling me ” you being a leader at your work place, will you a beg a WATCHMAN ?!!.. huh.. shame…”

But then the mother in me couldn’t let it happen .. This is the best opportunity for a mother to demonstrate the thumb rule of life to the child, that EGO can never come in the way of learning. How could she let it go ?

Finally, Mother won again !! I requested, begged watchman and got the gates opened for my child. Told him, no matter it’s gonna work or not, ATTEMPT always matters. I am sure , tomorrow he will not hesitate to request anyone for a right thing.