Recently I read ” A thousand Splendid Suns” during a leisure vacation. It’s an international acclaimed novel that described the disturbed lives in Kabul during the attacks of Taliban. This is a very well written piece that brings life of people in Kabul in a way that is very close to actual. But the common thing that I found in this book which disappointed me in a way is, the ability of women. As Mariam explained by her mother in the book that woman=endurance. I had, I have and I will continue to have reservations with this point.
Why we always tag woman only to the words responsibility, patience and Endurance? Of course, I appreciate the way author explained how much Laila and Mariam SUSTAINED in the novel but the missing factor is how beautifully Tarique ( A man with only one leg, in the story) faced the hardship in life and still could retain his goodness. If there was more focus on Tarique’s hardship, then the possibility is that the guy would have more sympathy against the women in the book … But at least there would have been an attempt to change the HISTORICAL PERCEPTION !!!
When I look around the current scenario ( Everywhere) looks like we all are in need of Endurance. I consider it as an ability to sustain the regular obstacles of life .. If yes, it’s a common need of a man as well as a woman. If we women need to develop endurance towards the circumstances, stubborn children, teasing ugly men around, not so supporting domestic conditions then men have to endure the stress at work, traffic, increasing risk for life in today’s social circumstances .. The fact is, NO ONE is safe.
Why men need to realize this … Well, as long as men do not realize the need of increased patience and responsibility, no one can stop the shattering homes .. Be it because of divorce, domestic violence, abandoned children, or suicides. As long as they do not accept that it needs their effort to develop the ability to sustain, they always believe and blame women for their inability to sustain. We need to inculcate the thought that problems are way shorter and smaller than the giant sized life … Yes, life is big !!!
Recently I have come across a cousin .. She must be aged less than 28 and her husband committed suicide last week ( He must be around 30 yr old.) Yes, there were financial problems, there were issues of stressed relations, complaints from parents etc… But on the other hand there is this cute child in their lives who is less than 3 yrs., there are two jobs occupied by this family which said that food and clothing is assured, there is a newly bought house which assured a decent shelter. Then why this guy had taken such hasty step ? I say, it’s lack of endurance. Lack of responsibility. Limits to OUR patience are always set by us .. Especially when it is about OUR life .. We all have to have endurance. The ability to live longer, no matter what happens around.
It’s a mere coincidence that exactly when I was thinking of how well the author could have injected the need of Endurance into men, I came across this cousin’s incident. but altogether .. It was an unpleasant experience which made me do a lot of brainstorm …
Wish at least 2014 would bring the needed change.